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An open letter to TheFatCyclist a.k.a. Fatty

December 6, 2009

Consideration for placement on Team RideLikeAGirl

FatCyclist and Lance Armstrong Ride for the Roses

Your open letter to Johan Bruyneel really caught our eye.  We felt your writing, as well as the fact you’re an Eagle Scout, was impressive.  We also read Johan’s reply.  We felt that while gracious, he could have been more accommodating to your request.  We feel your willingness to sacrifice, as stated in your letter, along with your obvious qualifications should have garnered a more attainable reply from Team RadioShack.       

The Tour De Gruene 2009

So, we held a closed-door Executive Committee meeting.  Long, passionate conversations ensued over several Fat Tire beers and we determined we would be interested in offering you a spot on our team.  Team RideLikeAGirl.  A lot of good information came up in the committee meeting, seems we got more acutely tuned in with each bottle.       

Up until now, Team RideLikeAGirl hasn’t completed any pro races, but we feel with the  addition of a skilled team member as yourself, we would finally have the motivation to go pro.  Two possible obstacles came up, but we are solution-based problem-solvers and know we can find the answers.  First off, would you be adverse to wearing a skirt?  We can see from your photo with Lance that you already have a well-outfitted bike.  (We had not yet considered baskets for the handle-bars, what an excellent idea.)  We see this will be highly beneficial in reducing our dependency on the team car, something Lance might want to consider.  (Team Car Twitpic)        

Current Super Domestique 2009 Team RideLikeAGirl

While we feel that raising money for 2 great causes such as World Bicycle Relief and LiveStrong is highly commendable, being considered as an addition to our team won’t be as financially taxing.  Just $500 to BikeSafe San Antonio  by December 31st 2009.  We were a little disturbed that Johan was not able to see your potential skills as a pro cyclist.  We would be happy to award you title of Super Domestique with a victory against our current leader, pictured left.  (However, as astute as your domestic skills are, we are girls after all and can probably smoke you in the shopping category.)  We are in agreement with Johan when it comes to your medical assistance.  We are currently unaware of proper treatment for the dreaded Purple Snipe Contusion (PSC), and would like you to head up some team clinics on this.   Since you mentioned the strength of your leadership skills, as well as excellent penmanship, in your open letter to him, we feel assured you will prove to be an excellent asset to our team.      

Again we would like to reiterate what a waste of talent it would be to overlook your obvious cycling skills and are prepared to offer you a lead position in all of our training rides you attend, which will start in January 2010.  Due to our non-profit status, funds will be limited until we start receiving some race purses, so it will remain each team member’s personal responsibility to gain effective transportation to & from all training rides.   I don’t believe raising the necessary funds for travel will be that big an obstacle for you to overcome, as you have already proven your incredible fund-raising abilities just earlier this week.     

We would be happy to work around your scheduling limitations so long as you are willing to attend at least one Team RideLikeAGirl training ride per month, however the skirt is not optional.  While I’ve heard of your tremendous negotiating prowess, I feel that in keeping with our hard-won cycling traditions with Ride Like A Girl, the skirt is too important a factor to compromise on.  Our hope is that this won’t be a deal breaker, especially since it helps us color-coordinate much better & causes the cameras to inevitably hone in on our riders that much more.   This is evidenced by the lower right-hand photo with the Mayor of San Antonio.  (As you can see, he is partial to baskets on bikes, just like you!)     

                     

You had mentioned your desire to join a new team.  As with Team RadioShack, Team RideLikeAGirl will be a new pro cycling team, so we would be counting on you to really put your stamp on us.  We feel it would suit your goals that much more since we, unlike Team RadioShack, don’t already have riders that are household names in the cycling world.  Who wants to ride in Lance & Levi’s shadow, anyway.       

A special note, just to boost the benefits of joining our team right over the edge, we have already acquired a 50% off coupon from RadioShack to purchase walkie talkies and laser-pens, so long the purchase is completed by December 31st 2009.  The rest of your future teammates are already putting together a bake sale to raise the necessary funds for the acquisition.      

As you can tell, we are serious about gaining your acceptance of our offer.  We believe joining Team RideLikeAGirl will be more in keeping with your unique personality & style.  Aside from our occasional desire to ride wearing diamond tiaras, our teammates don’t struggle with prima-donna issues as much as the most recent winner of the TdF, (not to single Contador out intentionally).      

Please get back to us at your earliest convenience so we can begin preliminary press releases.      

 A. Veronica Petralia
Executive Director & Head Coach
Team RideLikeAGirl 

An update:  It is 4:00pm on Friday, December 11 2009.  In case you’ve been following this exciting story…  Last Friday, The Fat Cyclist wrote an open letter to Johan Bruyneel, the coach of Team RadioShack requesting consideration as a team member in their 2010 team.  Johan Bruyneel gave The Fat Cyclist until today to raise $10,000 for World Bicycle Relief and $10,000 for LiveStrong in order for him to join Team RadioShack in training for a day.  Here is where he stands:

World Bicycling Relief:       $67,014.55

LiveStrong:                                $66,030.50

Is that incredible or what????  We watched every day since the initial offer.  He hit $20,000 in the first 2 days.  Then on Monday, Johan raised the ante.  If The Fat Cyclist could raise $25,000 for each charity, a total of $50,000, by the same deadline, he would receive a Trek Madone Powered by SRAM and a Gary Fisher 2010 Superfly, which he wants to give to some lucky donors.  Done, by Tuesday.

Johan raised the bar again.  Was he just pushing Fatty to the brink of fail?  An insane amount, an insane offer.  If Fatty raised $50K each for World Bicycle Relief and Livestrong, Trek Travel would donate one 2010 Paris Finishing Package to witness the finale of the Tour de France!! With airfare included!

What an offer, but… could he do it.  We were worried that people would grow weary of giving and lose interest.  But that didn’t happen.  In fact, he did such an outstanding job surpassing the $50,000 for each one, Johan has come up with a secret present, just for Fatty.

We want to extend a huge congratulations to The Fat Cyclist on his stellar achievement for the week.  We can’t think of a more deserving person.  As we witnessed throughout the week, the care and generosity of this man is a beautiful thing to see.  And he is surrounded by loving and giving friends. 

We are hopeful now that things slow down a bit he’ll have a chance to respond to our offer.  Especially after he does the training ride with Team RadioShack.  While we know he’s going to have a unbeleivable good time there, it will leave him wanting.  I’m confident he’ll contact us.  And since he’s done such a great job fund-raising, we decided to cover his transportation cost to get him to our first team training ride in January!!

V.

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4 Comments leave one →
  1. December 12, 2009 4:05 pm

    Purple Snipe = Black and blue penis from cycling accident.

  2. December 12, 2009 7:22 pm

    I fear Fatty’s head may be too big when he returns. If you do any training in Austin I might like to join. Let me know

    Alberto

  3. saridelikeagirl permalink*
    December 13, 2009 9:20 am

    @Rich – thank you for stealing my innocence…

    @DC – LOL, too funny…The closest we get to Austin is our Blanco Texas ride & our Gruene Texas ride. Would love for you to join us!! We wil be Riding the Tour De Cure in May 2010…

  4. December 17, 2009 6:12 pm

    I am happy to steal your innocence. Just tell me you’re 18 or older. ;-)

    Hmmm… someone named Alberto saying something contentious in a cycling forum! UNHEARD OF! :-)

    Sorry, just kidding Alberto. I don’t think Elden’s head will get too big. He knows he’s only human.

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